Thursday, March 22, 2007


I have this growing feeling that everything in my life has been done. By that I mean that I feel like I am a character in a video game or a book whose past, present, and future are already completed. I'm just present to experience the things that I've already done. I can envision this book already completed or not, and I am writing what's already there.
It's not that I'm opposed to this, but I go back and forth with the text I read and have trouble descerning what the right way for me is, if there is a right way. Maybe I'll forge my own way combining a little from each wisdom. I am so caught in a world where you are a this or a that emphatically. Most times you are very defined terms. You need to be something that you can easily comunicate to others. You need to be inside the box or outside the box, but not waivering in between. It's so cliche to not want to be a definition. I guess everybody says they want that, but aren't sure what that means.
Maybe I'll be stronger and wiser if I continue to forge my own path, or maybe I'll just be more confused. Maybe I won't be alive tomorrow. That's the reality of life. I may make grand plans, but I can only live in the present.

I guess that's the problem: I feel like I need something to supplement myself because I am missing some pieces. Or some of those pieces are dormant and need something to draw them to the surface.

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